**COLLEGE FOOTBALL: WHERE THE F**KING WILD THINGS ARE**

In the aftermath of two stunning upsets in the Southeastern Conference, the league has slapped hefty fines on Vanderbilt and Arkansas for their fans’ exuberant celebrations. The Razorbacks, who toppled fourth-ranked Tennessee 19-14, were hit with a $250,000 penalty, their second offense. Any future incidents will result in a $500,000 fine. The victory marked Arkansas’ first home win over a top-5 opponent in over two decades.

Meanwhile, Vanderbilt, a first-time offender, was fined $100,000 for their fans’ jubilant reaction to the Commodores’ 40-35 upset of top-ranked Alabama. The historic win marked the school’s first-ever triumph over a number one team. In the chaos, fans ripped down a goalpost and sent it tumbling into the Cumberland River, over two miles from the stadium. Quick-thinking firefighters from metro Nashville retrieved the post to prevent it from becoming a hazard, and Vanderbilt seized the opportunity to auction off pieces of the iconic structure.

Both incidents contravened the SEC’s policy on access to competition areas, which strictly limits access to authorized personnel. The fines will be paid to the opposing schools, serving as a reminder to maintain order in the face of triumph.

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