As the seasons change, we bid farewell to the sweltering heat of summer and welcome the crisp air of autumn. It’s a time for cozy sweaters, warm drinks, and, of course, the Bottom 10 rankings.
Here, we celebrate the teams that have struggled to find their footing in the early weeks of the season. And what better way to kick off October than with a nod to the most aptly named month of the year – Fall?
Without further ado, here are the post-Week 5 Bottom 10 rankings:
1. The Golden Strugglers (0-5) – With five losses under their belt, this team stands alone as the only program with a perfect losing record. Their next challenge comes in the form of a Week 7 showdown against Baller State.
2. The New Money Owls (0-4) – In their inaugural season of FBS ball, this team is still finding its wings. A recent loss to UT Martin of the FCS has them perched at number two on our list.
3. The Minors (0-4) – A failed attempt to cover the spread against Open Date U. has left this team feeling, well, minor. But hey, who can blame them for struggling against a team that doesn’t even exist?
4. The Other Aggies (1-4) – A loss to their arch-rivals has earned them a spot on our list. And with rumors swirling about their potential move to a new conference, things are about to get even more interesting.
5. Hurricane Football – This special mention goes out to the schools that decided to play ball in the face of Hurricane Helene. We’re looking at you, Clemson and The Citadel. While the rest of South Carolina was struggling to stay afloat, these teams were more concerned with sticking to their schedules.
6. The Zips (1-4) – A #MACtion opener loss to the Bobcats of Ohio has left this team feeling deflated. Maybe it’s time to revisit that Cinemax After Dark movie title…
7. The Minutemen (1-4) – With four losses to MAC teams under their belt, this team is struggling to find its footing. Next up, they face off against Northern Illinois – another MAC team, because why not?
8. The Owls (1-4) – The original Bottom 10 Owls have returned to reclaim their spot on our list. And with their sights set on Kennesaw, it’s about to get real.
9. The Other Other Aggies (1-3) – Joining the 2-Pac resurrection might be just what this team needs to turn things around. But for now, they’re stuck at number nine.
10. The Semi-No’s (1-4) – Will there be a brunch for the lawyers that Clemson and FSU have hired to help them sue the ACC? If so, the Noles’ legal eagles better be ready to climb over fallen trees and powerlines to get there.
Waiting list: Fa-La-La-La-La La-La-La-Tech, Temple of Doom, Baller State, Southern Missed, the Return of the Nayhawks, Muddled Tennessee State, Troy Bolton State, celebrating too early.
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