**VON MILLER GETS 4-GAME BAN FOR BEING A DICKHEAD**

A star defensive player in the National Football League has been handed a four-game suspension without pay due to violating the league’s code of conduct. The decision was made public on Tuesday, and the player will be eligible to return to the field on October 28, following their team’s eighth game of the season against a West Coast opponent.

The suspension is a result of allegations made against the player, accusing them of physically harming their pregnant partner in the past year. The player was taken into custody last November on a warrant for felony assault, but has since maintained their innocence, calling the claims “exaggerated.”

According to official documents detailing the alleged incident, the player is said to have grabbed their partner by the neck, pulled out a portion of their hair, and forcibly pushed them onto a couch. The victim received medical attention for minor injuries, including bruising to their neck. Despite the player’s assertions that no formal charges were filed, the league conducted its own investigation, leading to the suspension.

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