**F**king Hell: Huskers’ Coach Hoiberg Needs Pacemaker Reboot

**College Hoops Coach to Undergo Heart Procedure**

In a surprise announcement, the University of Nebraska’s athletic department revealed that men’s basketball head coach, Fred Hoiberg, will be undergoing a medical procedure this Friday to replace his pacemaker. The 51-year-old coach has been living with an abnormal aortic valve since birth, which led to two previous surgeries in 2005 and 2015.

Hoiberg’s heart condition was initially discovered during a routine life insurance physical, ultimately forcing him to retire from his professional basketball career. This upcoming procedure will mark his second pacemaker replacement.

As Hoiberg prepares for his sixth season at the helm of the Cornhuskers, fans are eagerly anticipating the team’s regular season opener on November 4 against UT Rio Grande Valley. Last season, the team boasted an impressive 23-11 record, culminating in an NCAA tournament appearance. With an overall record of 63-94 under Hoiberg’s leadership, the team is poised for another exciting season.

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