The Agony and the Ecstasy: Unpacking the NFL’s Most Painful Stats
As we bid adieu to another thrilling NFL season, it’s time to revel in the misery of our favorite teams’ misfortunes. For 17 weeks, we’ve laughed, cried, and commiserated over the haplessness of our beloved franchises. Now, let’s dive into the final installment of sad stats for Week 18.
A Family Affair?
George Pickens’ abysmal performance, with zero yards on six targets, sparked an intriguing investigation. Is Carl Pickens, the NFL single-game record holder for most targets with zero receiving yards, George’s dad? The internet suggests so, but without concrete evidence, we’re left with more questions than answers. One thing’s certain, though: Carl Pickens had a 12-target, zero-yard game in his illustrious career, adding fuel to the mystery.
Browns’ Historic Failure
The Browns join the 2019 Dolphins as the only teams since 1977 to fail to cover a 20.5-point spread. Deshaun Watson’s underwhelming performance, coupled with Bailey Zappe’s impressive showing, left fans wondering if Watson is a better football player than person.
The Undead Quarterbacks
In Week 18, 12 quarterbacks rose from the ashes to haunt their fandoms. Carson Wentz, Tyler Huntley, and Joshua Dobbs, among others, returned to wreak havoc on their teams’ chances. Despite their collective efforts, their stats weren’t as dismal as expected: 187 completions, 334 attempts, 1,884 yards, 9 TDs, 6 INTs, and a 5.67 YPA.
Jalen McMillan’s Cannon Celebration
McMillan’s 15-yard penalty for pretending to shoot a gun before scoring a touchdown sparked a hilarious sequence of events. As he scored, the cannons fired away, leaving us in stitches. Lesson learned: handguns are bad, but cannons are just fine – unless you’re a pirate.
Michael Pierce’s Unlikely Rush
Michael Pierce, the second-heaviest man to run with the football this season, defied expectations. Though he’s 11 pounds lighter than T’Vondre Sweat, the NFL’s heaviest player to ever run with the ball, Pierce’s feat is still an impressive anomaly.
Packers’ Divisional Disappointment
The Packers finished behind the Bears in the “just division games” standings, a small consolation for Bears fans. Jordan Love’s struggles without an elite offensive line raise questions about his quarterback prowess.
Titans’ Historic Futility
The Titans became the only team in NFL history to finish the season 2-15 against the spread. This remarkable feat of consistent underperformance is a testament to their ability to disappoint week in and week out.
As we close the book on another season of NFL sad stats, we’re left to ponder the agony and the ecstasy of being a fan. Until next year, when we’ll once again revel in the misery and mayhem of our beloved teams.
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