A Rundown to Forget
The Anticipation Was Palpable
As I sat waiting for the Rundown to begin, my stomach was in knots. I thought I was in for a roasting of epic proportions, with Dave Portnoy ready to unleash a verbal onslaught in response to my relentless banter over the past five months. But, as it turned out, the reality was far from the hype.
A Missed Opportunity
The concept of speaking for 17 straight minutes while Ohio State fans remained silent was amusing, to say the least. However, the execution fell flat. Hearing Dave read ads and stumble through an 11-minute news article was underwhelming, to say the least. It was a idea that sounded better on paper than in practice.
A Performance That Fell Short
While Dave has proven himself to be skilled with the written word, his ability to deliver it orally leaves much to be desired. As a result, his performance was lackluster, earning a B- from this old teacher. Knowing his potential, I had to give him a D on the assignment.
A Spark of Creativity
Despite the disappointment, I still believe Dave has talent; he just needs a nudge in the right direction. Here’s a free idea: why not become an Ohio State fan for the playoff? Place a Big Game Hunter bet on the Buckeyes, claim that Michigan’s absence means they can beat anyone, and then become Buckeye Dave on stream with me and Big Ev. It’s a win-win situation, where if Ohio State wins, he gets a million bucks and can gloat about Michigan’s back-to-back national championships. If they lose, he gets to trash Ohio State once again. The livestreams would be electric, with me and Big Ev trying to block out Dave’s sarcastic cheers for Ohio State.
The Ultimate Prisoner’s Dilemma
Do we want to win and deal with Buckeye Dave for another week, or do we want to lose and put us out of our misery? The possibilities are endless, with Dave digging deep into his troll bag over the course of four potential games. This move would put him front and center in the college football content, allowing him to make off-hand comments about Ryan Day, toughness, and Michigan Men while fake cheering for Ohio State.
A Missed Opportunity, But a New Beginning
That’s all I’ve got. While I can’t say anything more about Michigan, I’m happy to help out the company in any way I can. Who knows, maybe this idea will spark a new wave of creativity and entertainment.
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