**F**king Hell, Let’s Rank the Champions League’s Best: Real Madrid, Arsenal, and the Rest

The Champions League is heating up, and we’re already seeing some surprises and impressive performances. Here’s a breakdown of the top teams and players so far:

**Tier 1: The Favorites**

* Manchester City: Despite an injury to star midfielder Rodri, City remains one of the top contenders for the title.
* Real Madrid: A loss to Lille was a setback, but they’re still one of the favorites to win it all.

**Tier 2: Absolute Contenders**

* Arsenal: A win over PSG puts them in the conversation for a potential Champions League title.
* Bayer Leverkusen: Manager Xabi Alonso’s “sufferball” tactics have paid off, with two wins in two matches.
* Juventus: A dramatic comeback against RB Leipzig kept their hopes alive.
* Aston Villa: A stunning upset over Bayern Munich has them dreaming of a deep run.

**Tier 3: Spicy Long Shots**

* Benfica: A 4-0 thrashing of Atletico Madrid has them looking like a dark horse contender.
* Lille: That win over Real Madrid was no fluke – they’re a team to watch.
* Brest: The Champions League debutants have two wins in two matches and are making a statement.
* Sparta Prague: A draw against Stuttgart has them in good position to advance.

**Tier 4: Here for a Good Time**

* RB Salzburg: A pair of losses has them struggling to stay afloat.
* Club Brugge: A draw against Dinamo Zagreb keeps them in the hunt, but they need more wins.
* Young Boys: A loss to Manchester City was expected, but they need to bounce back quickly.

**Players of the Week**

* Karim Adeyemi (Borussia Dortmund): A hat trick against Sevilla was a highlight of the week.
* Lucas Chevalier (Lille): The young goalkeeper’s heroics against Real Madrid were unforgettable.
* Ilkay Gündogan (Manchester City): A dominant performance against Slovan Bratislava showcased his skills.
* Abdallah Sima (Brest): A two-goal outing against Salzburg was a breakout performance.
* Dusan Vlahovic (Juventus): A stunning goal against RB Leipzig kept Juventus alive.
* Ángel Di María (Benfica): A penalty goal and four chances created against Atletico Madrid showed he’s still got it.
* Jerdy Schouten (PSV): A goal and 17 ball recoveries against Sporting CP were impressive.
* Mehdi Taremi (Inter Milan): A goal and two assists against Viktoria Plzen led Inter to a big win.
* Petar Sucic (Dinamo Zagreb): A goal and 11 ball recoveries against Monaco helped Dinamo snag a draw.

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