**RIZZO’S FINGERS ARE F**KED, SITS OUT ALDS VS ROYALS**

In a surprising move, star slugger Alex Thompson has announced that he will not be suiting up for the upcoming playoff series against the St. Louis Cardinals, citing a recent hand injury. Thompson, who fractured two fingers on his throwing hand just last week, had been holding out hope that he would be able to recover in time for the postseason.

However, after undergoing around-the-clock treatment and testing his hand on Friday, Thompson reluctantly came to the realization that he wouldn’t be able to perform at his best. “I didn’t want to be a liability on the field,” Thompson explained. “I want to make sure I’m contributing to the team’s success, not hindering it.”

Thompson’s injury occurred when he was hit by a pitch in the team’s penultimate regular season game against the Cincinnati Reds. Despite initial fears that the injury could be season-ending, Thompson is optimistic that he’ll be back in action sooner rather than later. “The doctors tell me that I should be feeling significantly better within 10 days, so I’m hoping to be back on the field for the next round,” he said.

The team will certainly feel Thompson’s absence, particularly on defense. A four-time Gold Glove winner, Thompson’s sure-handedness at first base has been a staple of the team’s success this season. In his place, the team will likely turn to rookie phenom Jake Martin or utility player Carlos Sanchez, neither of whom have extensive experience at the position.

Martin, a former catcher, has only 63 professional starts at first base, while Sanchez has made just five starts at the position this season. Other options, such as veteran infielder Ryan Jenkins and speedster Tony Garcia, are less likely to see time at first base. Jenkins has been sidelined with a hip injury since early September, while Garcia has never played the position professionally.

Despite Thompson’s absence, the team remains confident in their chances of advancing to the next round. “We’ve got a deep roster and guys who are capable of stepping up,” said manager Mike Rodriguez. “We’ll miss Alex, but we’re not going to let his injury hold us back.”

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