**F**king Baseball Is Back, You Pussies!

As the dust settles on the wild-card round, the stage is set for the American League Division Series. The New York Yankees, along with three AL Central teams, will battle it out for a spot in the Championship Series. Meanwhile, in the National League, the usual suspects – the Los Angeles Dodgers, Philadelphia Phillies, and San Diego Padres – are still in the hunt.

Let’s take a closer look at the pairings from the perspective of the teams that had a bye in the first round. What did they learn from watching the wild-card round, and what should they be worried about?

Los Angeles Dodgers (vs. San Diego Padres)
The Dodgers might have been hoping for an Atlanta Braves upset, but instead, they’ll face a Padres team that looks like a force to be reckoned with. San Diego dominated Atlanta, showcasing their power and aggression at the plate. They also demonstrated impressive pitching, racking up 23 whiffs against just one walk. The Dodgers have the star power with Shohei Ohtani and Mookie Betts, but the Padres’ recent form makes them a formidable opponent.

Concern level: High

Philadelphia Phillies (vs. New York Mets)
The Phillies have been waiting for this moment, and they’re confident in their abilities. They’ve advanced to the NLCS in their previous two postseason appearances, and their core group has been through the October grind together. However, they didn’t finish the season strongly, and their rotation ERA was a concerning 5.68. The Mets, on the other hand, are fresh off a thrilling three-game series win over Milwaukee and are already in playoff mode.

Concern level: Bring it on

Cleveland Guardians (vs. Detroit Tigers)
The Guardians might be surprised to see the Tigers in the ALDS, especially after dominating them in the regular season. However, Detroit has transformed since the trade deadline, featuring a younger roster and a revamped bullpen. The Guardians will need to adjust to this new-look Tigers team, which has been playing like one of the best in baseball since August.

Concern level: Wait, where are the Astros?

New York Yankees (vs. Kansas City Royals)
The Yankees are heavy favorites, but the Royals shouldn’t be underestimated. They have a strong run differential and a deep bullpen, which could neutralize the Yankees’ powerful offense. The Royals also boast a talented young player in Bobby Witt Jr., who could give the Yankees fits. While the Yankees have the edge in firepower, they shouldn’t take the Royals lightly.

Concern level: Middling, with the potential for hubris

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