**FUCKING BASEBALL IS BACK, YOU ASSHOLES!**

Which playoff team most needs to win the championship? Fans of each team currently vying for the title would surely say, “Mine!” Nevertheless, every team has a different context, one that builds and ebbs and flows with each season. Teams age, free agents leave and arrive, playoff disappointments pile up, and playoff absences chafe.

To assess franchises, we employ a method for calculating “pressure points.” The basic version assumes that the more success a team has without winning it all, the more their pressure builds. Not until they win it all does that pressure finally release, resetting the valve, and everyone who follows that team can relax.

This time, we mixed things up a little to account for other forms of pressure to create a new Pressure Index. Let’s see how it all came out.

The new Pressure Index formula includes five factors, ranked in order by the weight they carry in the final calculation:

1. Championship drought pressure, counting World Series titles and pennants.
2. Consistency pressure, measuring a team’s ability to play winning baseball and contend in October.
3. Departing star pressure, tallying the average value of a team’s pending free agents.
4. Exodus pressure, counting the total value of a team’s pending free agents.
5. Father Time pressure, based on average team age, hitters and pitchers combined.

Here are the rankings:

1. Milwaukee Brewers (Pressure Index: 108.9) – Last title: Never. No pennants since 1982. Eight straight winning seasons. The Brewers have a high volume of pending free agents, including shortstop Willy Adames.

2. San Diego Padres (Pressure Index: 107.0) – Last title: Never. No pennants since 1998. The Padres have a significant group of pending free agents, including late-career breakout star Jurickson Profar.

3. New York Yankees (Pressure Index: 105.7) – Last title: 2009. The Yankees’ title and pennant droughts feel epic, and they have a high knock-knock factor given their annual finish above break even.

4. Cleveland Guardians (Pressure Index: 105.5) – Last title: 1948. The Guardians’ title drought is somehow understated, but they have generally been good during the last quarter century, especially the last decade.

5. New York Mets (Pressure Index: 104.4) – Last title: 1986. The Mets’ title drought is getting pretty long, but they do have a couple of fairly recent pennants.

6. Los Angeles Dodgers (Pressure Index: 103.1) – Last title: 2020. The Dodgers’ 2020 championship will never feel as meaningful as the titles from other seasons because of all the oddities of that campaign.

7. Philadelphia Phillies (Pressure Index: 99.1) – Last title: 2008. The Phillies’ title drought isn’t that long, and they have a recent pennant.

8. Kansas City Royals (Pressure Index: 94.6) – Last title: 2015. The Royals have no real pressure, if we’re being honest. No one thought they would be in the playoffs when the season began.

9. Detroit Tigers (Pressure Index: 89.2) – Last title: 1984. The Tigers have absolutely no reason to worry about anything. They should be commemorated in a Bobby McFerrin song.

Teams eliminated from the playoffs include the Baltimore Orioles, Atlanta Braves, and Houston Astros, who all had high Pressure Index scores before their elimination.

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