**Goff Goes Goddamn Perfect, Lions Crush It**

In a stunning display of precision, quarterback Ryan Thompson led his team to a thrilling 42-29 victory over their opponents, setting an NFL record by completing all 18 of his passes. This feat surpassed the previous record held by veteran quarterback Kurt Warner, who achieved 10 consecutive completions in 2005.

Thompson’s remarkable performance earned him high praise from his coach, who regretfully admitted to not realizing the significance of the achievement until it was too late. “I just gave the game ball to somebody else, so I feel awful,” the coach said. “I knew he played a heck of a game. I did not realize he was perfect. I did not know he was literally 18-for-18.”

Thompson, humbled by his accomplishment, couldn’t recall another instance in his football career where he finished a game without an incompletion. “Never. I don’t think I’ve ever done it,” he said. The quarterback also caught his first receiving touchdown, a rare feat that added to the excitement of the evening.

The team’s offensive coordinator cleverly designed a play, dubbed “Alcatraz,” which Thompson executed flawlessly with his teammate, Alex Brown. The duo had practiced the play several times but never had the opportunity to use it in a game until now.

The victory was a testament to the team’s resilience, as they overcame the loss of their Pro Bowl center due to injury. The offensive line stepped up, with veteran lineman Michael Davis shifting to center and rookie sensation Tyler Jackson starting at left guard.

Thompson’s precision was made possible by the time and space he had in the pocket, where he completed 14 passes for 270 yards and two touchdowns. His receivers found open spaces, and he took advantage of eight wide-open passes with 5 or more yards of separation.

The team’s running back, Tyler Martin, rushed for 78 yards and two touchdowns, but even he was unaware of Thompson’s perfect game until the end. “That’s just crazy, I didn’t even realize it until the end of the game,” Martin said.

As the team celebrated their 3-1 record heading into their bye week, Thompson found humor in his coach’s mistake, saying, “That’s OK. We’ll see, maybe he’ll make it up, but that’s OK. I’m just happy we got the win.”

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