The City of Brotherly Love: Where Productivity Goes to Die
Philadelphia has long been a coveted location for major corporations looking to set up shop. But have you ever wondered why these plans often fall through? The answer lies in the city’s unrelenting passion for its beloved football team. As the NFL season continues to expand, the city’s productivity takes a hit.
Meet John, a seemingly ordinary citizen with a penchant for arm sleeve tattoos and a green-dyed beard. On any given day, he’s a contributing member of society. That is, until the Philadelphia Eagles take to the field. On game days, John transforms into a tailgating machine, firing up his propane torch at the crack of dawn to get the smoker going.
These die-hard fans aren’t just early risers; they’re dedicated party animals. They’ll set up shop 15 hours before kickoff, indulging in a marathon of booze, grilled meats, and unbridled enthusiasm. It’s a wonder anyone makes it to the actual game. The best-case scenario? Blacking out by mid-morning and coming to just in time for kickoff.
As the city comes alive with the sounds of cheering and chanting, the air is filled with the promise of drunken purchases and questionable life choices. It’s a beautiful thing. So here’s to the tailgate crew, and to the city that proudly wears its heart on its sleeve – or rather, its jersey. Happy game day, Philadelphia!
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